Statistics had become part of a political battleground, with heated arguments back and forth, but unfortunately without any agreed definition: When it became necessary to predict what would happen to the Aids epidemic, it was vital to find out what people actually did with each other. Surveys started to distinguish between identity what sexual orientation you claim ; attraction who you find sexually attractive ; and behaviour whether you have had same-sex experiences.
The numbers for each area turn out to be very different. The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles Natsal is the most reliable source of information on what Britons do in private, and has taken place every 10 years since But there is a clear gradient with age, with a much higher proportion in younger people, particularly in younger women: Sexual identity is also now part of official government statistics.
But only 0.
So is this evidence of bias in the Natsal participants or a sign of reluctance to open up in a general household survey that is largely concerned with mundane matters such as shopping habits? That works out to a total of nearly 1. Same-sex sexual behaviour can come in all degrees of intensity. Respondents are asked about activity at any age, so adolescent fumblings counted. For women in the age range 16 to 44, the proportion who report having had some same-sex experience has shown a dramatic rise over the past 20 years: But data from Match.
This suggests that these men are not only not telling Facebook they are gay but are also not looking for relationships online. Additional evidence that suggests that many gay men in intolerant states are deeply in the closet comes from a surprising source: It turns out that wives suspect their husbands of being gay rather frequently. The states with the highest percentage of women asking this question are South Carolina and Louisiana.
In fact, in 21 of the 25 states where this question is most frequently asked, support for gay marriage is lower than the national average.
Craigslist lets us look at this from a different angle. Among the states with the highest percentages are Kentucky, Louisiana and Alabama. There is, in other words, a huge amount of secret suffering in the United States that can be directly attributed to intolerance of homosexuality.
One man contacted me.
He told me he was a retired professor, in his 60s, married to the same woman for more than 40 years. About 10 years ago, overwhelmed with stress, he saw the therapist and finally acknowledged his sexuality.
He has always known he was attracted to men, he says, but thought that that was normal and something that men hid. He and his wife do not have sex.
He says that he would feel guilty ever ending his marriage or openly dating a man. He regrets virtually every one of his major life decisions. The retired professor and his wife will go another night without romantic love, without sex. Despite enormous progress, the persistence of intolerance will cause millions of other Americans to do the same. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz is a contributing opinion writer who recently received a Ph. A version of this article appears in print on , on Page SR5 of the New York edition with the headline: Matthew Parris The fact no one likes to admit: Matthew Parris 5 January 9: See also Alfred Kinsey Gender Sexuality transgenderism.
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Consensual sex between adult men remains stigmatized in much of the world. Same-sex practices and relationships are criminalized in over 70 countries, many . The demographics of sexual orientation vary significantly, and estimates for the LGBT However, since many individuals may fail to report outside the heterosexual norm or While gay culture is increasingly open and discussed, the world of MSM Some men who have sex with other men will not relate to the term "gay" or.
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